


Psyche

by set_sail



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I'm proud of her, Lena does some thinking, but this time she accomplishes something, just a normal friday night for Lena, more like angsting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/set_sail/pseuds/set_sail
Summary: The jig is up. The signs have always been there and Lena can’t ignore them anymore. She’s finally figured out Kara’s secret, and she is not okay with it.





	Psyche

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if some things seem a little sketchy. I don't quite remember what's canon anymore and tbh I prefer it this way.

  
Supergirl had hovered over Kara’s very presence since day one. A throwaway mention of Superman and Kara couldn’t help but speak up for National City’s own hero. A blurted blunder here, a blushing and blistering defense there, and an airborne bus to boot. The signs have always been there and Lena can’t ignore them anymore. She’s finally figured out Kara’s secret, and she is not okay with it.

 Just about every time Lena was alone with Kara, she could feel the presence of Supergirl emanating from Kara. It was comforting to a point, but also just the tiniest bit unsettling. She and Kara couldn’t have a complete conversation without Supergirl coming up. Kara wasn’t truly finished talking until she had echoed a sentiment or two of the hero. She seeped into their every interaction, patrolled around their metaphorical gala. And Lena never dared to bring up the topic of alien rights around her these days. She obviously took it very personally, like it was a little too close to home. It’s amazing Lena hadn’t figured it out sooner.

 The suspicion came to her that night on the balcony and hasn’t left her since. What are the chances, really, that Kara and Supergirl would be having coffee together at that time of night? She’d asked Supergirl, truly not reading into it at the moment, but the pure panic on her face had been anything but reassuring. She had to wonder, just why such a simple question would strike such fear into the girl of steel herself. What could possibly be so incriminating about late night coffee between friends?

 Kara told Lena that Supergirl was a close friend of hers. She helped Kara out with her articles, providing detailed information that no one else could provide. They talked often, that much was sure. Not to mention, Kara’s own sister worked side by side with Supergirl in that little alien task force. Kara the journalist seemed to be an honorary member of this shadowy organization, not that Lena was supposed to know anything about that. The connections kept adding up, and the inaccuracies became more and more glaring.

 The real clincher, however, had been one Mon-el of Daxam. Familiarity could have been explained easily due to Kara and Supergirl’s close relationship. What doesn’t quite add up, is that Kara’s “Mike” would be the alien Mon-el, and that same guy be Supergirl’s supposed star-crossed lover. Her immediate reaction was anger, Lena is willing to admit, Kara didn't deserve to be cheated on. The more Lena thought about it, the clearer everything became.

 A one-dimensional dude, average in every way. Believable as a failed intern picked up by the ever-compassionate Kara Danvers. Convincing as an alien of comparable backgrounds to the untouchable Supergirl. He was cardstock paper ready to be given a purpose. He was white modeling clay waiting to be shaped into something useful. He was the sitcom boy next door, on loop with the laugh track. Completely lacking in any substance, absolutely forgettable. There wasn’t a thing on the surface that warranted a second look.

 He was the perfect beard.

 Coming out had been difficult for Lena, to say the least. Any public figure putting themselves out there like she has, is choosing to be in a terrifyingly vulnerable position. They are telling the world that they are abnormal, and as much as Lena wishes things were different, a person’s sexuality is a weaponized label. Lena can imagine why an icon like Supergirl may want to keep those kinds of labels down to just ‘Alien’. There’s no telling what kind of fear and hatred could be aimed at a gay one.

 So no, Lena could never blame Supergirl for keeping her relationship with Kara Danvers a secret. She would never begrudge a person for not disclosing personal information to the public. But Lena would also like to think that she wasn’t just a member of the public. She isn't of course, but not in a good way.

 Lena is a Luthor, and there’s nothing she can do to separate herself from the ignominy. And there's nothing Kara or Supergirl can say to make her feel like that's possible, not anymore.

 For all the talk of love and trust, the intimate thoughts and fears shared in low voices when the outside world wouldn’t dare touch them, when the sounds of boots on the balcony would bring soul-bearing talk of family and destiny, when a knock at the door signalled time for Lena the individual instead of Lena the Luthor, Lena wasn’t meant to know the truth.

 She could understand in the beginning. Kara couldn’t tell someone she barely knew that she flew to their interview in Supergirl’s arms. A few lunches between tentative friends doesn’t seem significant enough. A few more dinner plans that end in lingering touches and a nervous kiss on the cheek don’t automatically warrant access to every secret. Declarations of love, however, that’s something else. A promise to always stand by her side, whispered into her ear when she needed it most, that’s... that’s too good to be true.

 Every word that she’s ever wanted to hear has come exclusively from the mouths of the only two friends she has in the world.

 Every night that Supergirl looked deep into Lena’s eyes and gave her hope for the future, Lena imagines her flying away to spend the night with Kara.

 Every time that Kara would hold Lena tight to her chest and hold her together through willpower alone, Lena imagines a space for the secret between them.

 Every moment that Lena spent pining for one or the other, because she can admit that it was pining now, she now knows they were together. They were together and happy to leave her behind. They are her friends, her only friends, and it was foolish to think she had had a chance with either one of them.

 They were both so strong and beautiful in their own way. She could imagine them together, how perfectly in sync they would be. They were both so bright and warm, open in a way that Lena could never be. They complimented each other in the way that perfection deserves perfection.

 They probably have all the same interests and share a love for all things unhealthy. Lena has seen Supergirl’s secret instagram, she'd probably been trying all those potstickers with Kara. They probably went to the shelter to pet puppies after, maybe fought crime along on the way.

God, a Super and a reporter have way more going for them than any combination involving a Luthor. Just ask Lois Lane and Superman. But if Kara really wants to fulfill the cliche, then who was Lena to stop her. 

Really, who was Lena compared to Supergirl?

 


End file.
